We went to Provo yesterday and to an LDS bookstore. I skimmed through this book. I was totally unimpressed. The authors write from a very archaic viewpoint. True, I didn't seriously read the whole thing, but some of the points that galled me were:

1. The outworn assumption that men always want sex and women don't so much, so husbands need to curb themselves. This actually perpetuates the myth and makes it harder for women to grow into their sexuality because they're not "supposed" to be "that way."

2. The dangerous claim that women feel better about the marriage when there's reliable income, so supplying that can ease problems in the sex life.

3. The outrageous notion that women like hugging more (most men I know also like hugging a LOT and it can happen easily that a woman might want sex when a man wants comfort hugging).

4. I won't get into the specifics here (not appropriate for AML probably), but the authors offer a terrible solution to a man coming to orgasm before the woman is ready. Modern sex books (BTW not pornographic, such as The Art of Sexual Ecstasy and The Multi-orgasmic Man ) give much gentler and humane advice on this.

5. The authors avoid discussing much specific on how a husband can help a wife learn to respond sexually. I believe this could have been done modestly and be very helpful.

6. The discussions for older people--about Viagra, hormone replacement therapy, herbal helps and so on, are extremely shallow and poorly presented. Each of those things has serious benefits AND drawbacks, but we get a standard newspaper approach to them that doesn't address the issues, IMHO.

7. The authors mention that sex has a spiritual dimension but totally miss discussing it in a meaningful way. Again, other sex books on the market address this beautifully and clearly. Certainly that's the meaning of sex in marriage, the spiritual communion.

We can be glad, I guess, that there's an LDS sex book on the market and that people are looking for help. However, my take is that it sounds more like a rehash of 1950's or 60's POV's on sex. Too bad.

Cathy (Gileadi) Wilson
Editing Etc.
Editing Etc.
15 East 600 North
Price UT 84501