Please, Don't Try This at Home

It seemed like everyone and their dog had seen Singles Ward before me, and they'd all expressed an opinion. (The dog's: "Ruff ruff!") I tried hard to enter the theater with a clean slate in my mind, but all I could think of was how my artistic colleagues disliked it, and I probably would too.

To my dismay, as the film rolled, I began to wonder if I would have to go on record as actually liking the film, risking the derision of my peers.

The opening sequence was cute and clever, with the credits being presented through scrapbooking. Already we are made aware that LDS culture is going to be tweaked. The main character, Jonathan, began a dialog with the viewer, a la Ferris Buehler, which, although not especially original, still works for a spoof film.

Then the jokes started flying. Dry, quick, deliciously insider jokes. Blink and you might miss a few. It reminded one of Mel Brooks or Mystery Science Theater 3000 style humor.

The minutes ticked by, and still I found the film pleasantly enjoyable. Alas, my reputation would be ruined when I reported that I actually liked Singles Ward!

But time took its ugly toll and saved my reputation. The cleverness of the first several scenes turned out to be nothing more than beginner's luck. The filmmakers threw a bunch of mud on the wall, and some of it stuck. The rest of the film was just wet dirt lying on the ground.

There were moments of semi-genius with the satire. And there were moments when I thought a real-life singles ward FHE group had grabbed a video camera and started goofing off.

Singles Ward suffered horribly from the small budget. But the smallness of the budget isn't what caused the suffering. Plenty of independent filmmakers have done a lot with a little cash. Singles Ward filmmakers just made the film, and if the money wasn't there, they let it show on the screen.

One moment you could feel like you were watching a regular movie. The next moment, the scene wasn't even in focus. There couldn't possibly have been an actual cinematographer employed on the set. Just someone's Uncle Rufus who said, "Hey, I can run a camera," and the producers believed him.

The story starts out well enough, with Jonathan being dumped by his apostatizing wife, who only joined the church in the first place so she could marry him. The experience leaves him cold to the gospel and inactive from church. We get all the sarcastic jabs that you would expect from a cynical Jackmormon, and many of them are quite witty.

He regains interest in the church when, in the singles ward he's assigned to, he runs across a woman he's attracted to. We never actually find out what about her is so attractive to him -- she's cute enough, but not ravishing, and borders on Molly Mormonism. One was left wondering what about her could motivate a confirmed cynic out of his cynicism. The plot required that he be attracted to her, and that was that.

Eventually the story loses its way. It meanders to an eventual climax, but feels sloppy getting there. It's good for people to smell the flowers along the way, but a movie plot has no such luxury.

Singles Ward had a number of cameos by local celebrities, but for the most part, they were wasted. The celebrity seemed uncomfortable and stilted, or the joke just wasn't funny, or in the case of ex-BYU football coach Lavell Edwards, couldn't keep from grinning as he delivered his lines. (Could the producers only afford one take per cameo celebrity?) Only computer ad lunatic Superdell seemed at home making a fool of himself as a supergeek.

In addition to a constant focus problem, the film had the familiar small-budget problem of having poor sound, to the point where I couldn't understand some dialog. As any low budget independent filmmaker worth his salt will tell you, you can get away with some poor quality images, but if the sound is bad, the whole film will seem shoddy. Singles Ward filmmakers obviously never learned that lesson.

In spite of all the reasons to criticize the film, viewing it in a sold-out theater was an eye-opener. The audience was chuckling and laughing throughout, thoroughly enjoying themselves. There can be no doubt the audience was almost 100% LDS, because the film is so insider-oriented that no non-LDS person could get much out of it.

Yet this is a film that pokes fun at everything LDS -- right down to the schmaltzy tear-jerk climax that gets a delicious mocking -- and has a main character that's inactive and about as cynical towards the gospel as you can get without becoming meanspirited. There was even smoking and beer-drinking shown on-screen, by a member no less (albeit an apostatizing member). The score included primary songs about deity that were performed in very unorthodox musical styles (which may very well be the most delightful part of the film). Yet an LDS audience enjoyed it. Maybe Mormons have more of a sense of humor about themselves than some think.

But that doesn't excuse the fact that the filmmakers didn't know what they were doing. Filmmakers are professionals with serious skills they've developed to ply their trade in as effective a manner as possible. Please, children, do not try this at home.

The last thing LDS art needs is another sloppy piece of artwork that becomes popular. Singles Ward was a film that should have been made, but it should have been made by people who know how to make a movie.

-- 
D. Michael Martindale
dmichael@wwno.com