I wrote most of this review before learning that this is one of Deseret Book's "banned" titles that they will no longer stock on the shelves of their stores. I'll discuss my thoughts on this later in the review.

In To Love Again we follow the story of Janna and Collin, the happy couple who got together in Return to Love. In case you missed that book, Janna and Collin were high school sweethearts, but they did something once that landed them in the bishop's office. Janna became pregnant, but she kept this secret from Collin so that he could still serve a mission. Collin does so, remaining unaware that he has a son. Janna, meanwhile, marries a physically abusive man. After several years, she finally has the courage to leave. She flees with her son to Collin's house because it seems like a safe place. Eventually the two of them reconcile and marry, and live happily ever after. . . until the next book.

This book, To Love Again, begins at their honeymoon, but their happily-ever-after soon proves to be more difficult than they'd dreamed possible. You see, Janna was also abused by her father as a youth, and a chance encounter with him sets off some awful feelings within her. Soon she's verbally and emotionally abusive to Collin, and the harder he tries to help her feel better, the worse she gets. She's also hideously depressed, and Collin finds life with her more and more difficult. Eventually he commits adultery, and that of course sets off a whole new set of problems to overcome. Believe it or not, Collin and Janna do eventually reconcile their differences, but getting there is not easy.

Things I like about this story and Stansfield books in general:

There are real issues going on here. There's abuse, healing from abuse, mistrust, adultery, the whole works. People who want the fluffy side of life aren't going to find it here. Or are they? More on that later.

Stansfield depicts the workings of the Spirit. Very few LDS writers portray that as effectively as she does. In all of her books, God is almost like another character. He's very real, always in the background, but his influence is never far. Even in their darkest hours, God always comes through for them, sometimes in ways that they least expect it.

Problems with this book:

The issues are real, but ultimately everything has to work out. That's a stipulation at the beginning. Stansfield herself has said on television commercials that "I guarantee a happy ending." So, no matter what else happens, when you pick up the book you know that the characters will live happily ever after. The point of reading the book is to take the journey to that ending, not to speculate on the outcome.

In a way I like that. Who wants to read through an entire depressing book in which the protagonist loses and eventually wilts away to nothing? Maybe that's real life, but it sure isn't fun to read about. Overcoming obstacles and truly achieving happiness really happen, too. People come away inspired by stories like these.

On the other hand, not every problem in life has a happy ending that can fit with it. Since it's fiction, and romantic religious fiction at that, readers can often allow for a few little miracles to help solve problems without feeling that the credibility of the story is too strained.

But there's still a difference between solving problems realistically and solving them unrealistically. Latter-day Saint fiction is notorious for unrealistic solutions. Just for an example, I recall a scene in a Jack Weyland book (Kimberly) in which a man and woman divorce after years of marriage. The children experience a range of emotions, including despair. The junior high-aged girl contemplates suicide for all of about two pages. Then she looks outside and sees the beautiful world and decides that life is worth living after all. The problem is solved, but the simple solution certainly does not address the pain that truly suicidal people feel.

But Stansfield comes a lot closer to realistic situations than Weyland does in this scene. (Weyland himself has been known to come closer than that in many cases.) While there are miracles in this book, they don't drive much of the action of the book. For example, Janna experiences depression that doesn't go away just because people pray for her or because the world is beautiful. Colin, frustrated by his depressed wife who has turned hateful and abusive, finds himself turning to another woman for acceptance. While it's repeatedly made clear that this doesn't excuse Colin's actions, it's a realistic thing to happen under the circumstances. And separation and possible divorce are realistic things to happen after that. Colin's excommunication and deepening despair are also realistic consequences. It's refreshing to see LDS fiction that admits these realities, unpleasant as they are. They're as much a part of life as conversion and temple marriage. We may like to think that Latter-day Saints are immune to such problems, but this is sadly not the case; they are likely much more widespread than many of us realize.

So what about the story isn't realistic? Unfortunately, it's the happy ending. I wouldn't say that it's an easy ending, since it does take a long, torturous path to get them there. Given that the ending must be happy, the road there is fairly believable. But once Janna's finally overcome the demons from her past and feels that she can still accept Colin after what he's done, and Colin finally qualifies for rebaptism and has to face the fact that Janna might not choose to take him back, their reunion is much smoother than I would realistically expect.

Colin's character has to carry quite a bit of the non-realism. Of course, he does fit the mold of the bigger-than-life hero of any romance novel. He's sensitive, as we see in scene after scene where he sheds tears over Janna, the state of his family, and his own sins. (In fact, he may be a bit too sensitive. He sure cries an awful lot, and occasionally he does things like "clap his hand over his mouth" when he hears surprising news. He must have been written by a woman.) He's also incredibly patient. When Janna treats him like dirt, month after month, he continues on in the marriage and tries to do everything he can for her, including sending her flowers every week while they're living apart. His love for her is still strong. When she's finally ready, after a breakdown and months of counseling, he takes her back easily. He's upset by her behavior, but he never stops loving her. It's a great example of something we should aspire to, but how many people can really put up with months of torture from another human and still love them and be willing to have a working marriage relationship with them? I would at least expect some rebuilding time, some time of "we're trying but let's not get too close because I'm not sure I can trust you yet." Or I'd just plain expect a divorce. True love can die, after all, especially if someone kills it with abuse.

What might make the story more realistic? The reunion could be more difficult, for starters. Another possibility would be that they simply don't make it. This could be a depressing story, but it could also be written as a hopeful one. Perhaps we could see them come to peace with the fact that their relationship can never be the same. After all the hurt that these two have caused each other, I could even believe that God might help them heal and move on.

Or would he? I'm sure that some folks out there would feel the same way. I'm also sure that some folks would never dream of it. Why would God ever tell a couple to divorce? The idea just doesn't fit with some people's view of things. I would venture to guess that these are the same readers who thrive on solutions coming through miracles.

With its happy ending that comes in just that way, To Love Again is probably more for these readers than it is for people who want a truly realistic story. These readers like to dabble in reading about worldly problems, but they like to end in a safe place. However, these people also don't like to be thrust into worldly problems and dragged through them. They like to observe them from a safe distance. This is where the book seems to lose its audience.

The customer reviews on deseretbook.com were interesting, at least until the book and its reviews were removed from the website. While most customer reviewers of Stansfield's books rave about the high emotional intensity, real life problems and solutions, and high quality of her writing, two of the three reviews of this book were somewhat negative. Admittedly, two is a small number to base any sweeping judgments on, but they are nonetheless interesting. This quote from one of them says it all: "This book left me feeling bothered and troubled, and left behind it an obvious lack of the Spirit in my home for several days." This sort of material is something that many readers of LDS fiction just aren't looking for.

What's wrong with the book? Well, for one thing, it actually shows some of the outbursts between Janna and Colin. They even use the "h-word" repeatedly. The dialogue here is often quite believable, and the friction between the two is pretty realistic. Sometimes one of them tries to be kind, but the other one, anticipating caustic behavior, behaves caustically. Then the first one reacts negatively. And on it goes. Janna becomes more withdrawn, and neglects her duties around the home and in caring for the family. Colin tries to take up the slack, and tries to initiate kind behavior, but Janna becomes only more sullen.

Then there's the adultery. Yes, this is a Latter-day Saint novel in which the hero commits adultery. Lily, the "other woman," is from the office, and Colin isn't even remotely interested in her until a series of events brings them together. She's a nonmember going through a divorce, and he politely tries to comfort her and then finds himself telling her about his problems also. He gives her rides home when her car doesn't work, and comes into her apartment to fix things for her. It all starts innocently, except for the constant warning sirens going off in Colin's mind that he ignores.

The part that I had the most trouble with is the scene where they actually do it (ahem). It's quite clear that Colin is troubled and feels hopeless about his situation at home. And it's also quite clear that Lily likes his company and appreciates him in a way that Janna doesn't seem to. This is all believable. Lily initiates the physical contact, which is also believable. What I didn't quite buy was that Colin feels so hopeless that his covenants and standards just cease to matter instantly. I can buy the hopeless part, but he hadn't been questioning his testimony, or lusting after Lily, or anything like that. Wouldn't something jar him into reality before he goes all the way the first time he really thinks about it?

Besides which, he doesn't even find Lily particularly attractive. He doesn't love her. Even through all of Janna's emotional abuse, he loves her, deeply. He hasn't considered getting intimate with Lily. It just happens. Given Colin's moral fiber throughout the rest of the book, this just didn't quite ring true with me. He knows that married men shouldn't be alone with a woman that they aren't married to, which is a fine rule to follow, but which he proceeds to break. But just breaking this rule does not mean that the two people will end up in bed together.

But what follows is pretty real. Afterwards, Colin lets himself realize what he's done, and ends up crying in Lily's arms for an hour. Then he has to go home and face Janna. He confesses to her almost immediately, and she responds by throwing him out of the house. And then Lily refuses to disappear. She wants to expand their relationship. And from what she knows about Colin's home situation, she can't fathom why he won't comply. This is all handled quite well, and shows some consequences of Colin's transgression that he hadn't even considered.

In spite of the realistic depictions of the situation, this book also has plenty of examples of sloppy writing. The book begins with a multi-page information dump to catch the reader up on what happened in Return to Love. Then we see Janna and Colin on their honeymoon, and then at the birth of their next child. The object, of course, is to show how happy they are and how much they love each other. But, since nothing happens of substance, it's about as interesting as watching someone cook a box of macaroni and cheese. The story at this point is all cheese and no substance. (Fake cheese, at that.) Things eventually get more interesting, but it takes longer than it should to get there.

Another example of poor writing is the introduction of Hilary Smith as Janna's good friend. She appears from nowhere and their entire relationship is described in a paragraph. Her friendship is supposed to mean a lot to Janna, but apparently not enough to give her any more space than that. She makes one other similar appearance, and that's it for her. What was the point of even introducing her as a character? Actually, anyone who does a bit of homework will discover that one of Stansfield's next books is about Hilary and her trials and romance. Most, if not all, of Stansfield's main characters are tied to main characters in another story, so the stories are all interrelated in some way, and occasionally you'll hear news in books about other characters. For instance, in the third book of Emily and Michael Hamilton's trilogy, the "First Love" series, they befriend Sean, who is studying to become a counselor. Sean's romance is covered in By Love and Grace. There, among other things, Sean counsels a youth who has been sexually abused by her father. This is Janna, who goes on to become the heroine in Return to Love and To Love Again. Janna and Colin's daughter Mallory grows up and has her own trials and romance in For Love Alone. And on it goes. This was simply Hilary's "in" to the series. But it's a pretty poor one.

But those things aside, a problem with this book is that it's too edgy for some of the folks who read to be uplifted. And it's also too unrealistic and positive for those who like "real" material. The appearance of sloppy writing doesn't help the cause for either side. In the end, the book can only really appeal to those from either camp who are willing to overlook the parts they don't like�either the edginess, or the contrived happy ending. Even some diehard Stansfield fans don't like this one. On the other hand, I think this one is now one of my favorite Stansfield offerings.

Part 2

But, frankly, I don't understand why Deseret Book has "banned" it. According to the letter from Sheri Dew, President and CEO of Deseret Book, sent to many Utah customers in December:

Many customers have asked if we will continue to carry books that explore the classic conflict between good and evil (and thus deal with everything form adultery to abuse). Of course we will. But we will stock only those that clearly distinguish between right and wrong and that show the honest consequences of individual choices.

If this book doesn't do that, what books do?

I've been racking my brains trying to think of other reasons why Deseret Book might pull this one from its shelves. Perhaps there is some little thing that they don't like, such as the use of the "h" word. Or maybe they didn't like the fact that both Colin and Janna date other people during their separation, while they are legally still married to each other. The book never says that this is wrong for them to do. Or perhaps they didn't like the scene where Janna finally comes back to Colin. The couple is still legally married, but they've lived separate lives for months, and they immediately hop into bed together as soon as Janna comes back. Or might Deseret Book disagree with the idea that Colin was prodded to his adulterous act by abuse from Janna? Did that seem to excuse his actions somehow, even though the book goes to great lengths to explain that this was no excuse? Like it or not, that's still a very realistic possible consequence to Janna's behavior.

Could Deseret Book be bowing to the pressure of negative reviews such as those on their website? Maybe this book isn't for everyone, but much of it is very real. Right or wrong, these things happen. Not everything in life brings warm fuzzies. But the ultimate resolution of this book is full of hope. Yes, it's a long, terrible road back. But with patience, persistence, repentance, and forgiveness, it can be traveled.

Another thought. The letter from Sheri Dew states that the books that they carry must "show the honest consequences of individual choices." (Asterisks added.) Perhaps the powers that be at Deseret Book feel that the consequences for this couple weren't honest. After all, Janna was abusive and Colin was unfaithful, and they still got back together. I suppose it could happen, but the more likely consequence is for the marriage to fail altogether. Could that be the problem? Does it seem that this book promotes the idea that it's okay to mess around or abuse your spouse because you can fix things in the end?

Although the happy ending may not be realistic, the book goes out of its way many times to stress the difficulty of reconciliation. Stansfield doesn't make it easy for them, and emphasizes that things would have been much better for them both if Colin hadn't fallen in the first place. She did about as much as she could to make it realistic and still get Janna and Colin back together.

What's the problem, then? Could it be just that the book's not selling?

A few months ago I was one of the more vocal folks on AML-List in support of Deseret Book's decision to remove certain books from their shelves. In theory, I still support this policy. They should be able to cater to the people whom they see as their customers. In carrying this out, I'd expect them to come down on books with explicit sex scenes, as well as those where the characters have inappropriate relationships outside of marriage with no apparent ill consequences. But I'm alarmed that the ax has fallen on a book like this where the consequences are clearly shown as devastating. It may just be that the book's not selling well; it's been out for several years, it will probably go out of print soon if it isn't already, and the customer reviewers didn't seem to like it, anyway. But those of us who are aware of "the policy" will likely continue to look for moral reasons for its being pulled from the shelves.

I don't believe that Deseret Book ever intended to place "banned book" labels on anything. They just want their decisions to be reflected quietly by the absence of anything "icky" on their shelves. Customers are supposed to notice the high caliber of literature they find there, not fret over what's not in the store. I'm sure that many of them will do exactly that. This is a reasonable goal for a bookstore, but defining where to draw the line is difficult. There will be some unbargained-for consequences.

Just like Colin faced with Lily. . .